Skip to main content

I'm Shocked...Shocked!

I came across this while doing some research for a much longer upcoming article, and felt that I had to at least make a passing reference to it. It must be important because it was right there on Google News’ front page. A member of a “boy band” is homosexual? Wow, watch out Woodward and Bernstein – what a scoop!

The entire country (save for those with IQ's larger than the size of their television screens) was floored by the announcement that Lance Bass, a member of the 1990's semi-successful teeny-bopper musical group “N’Sync” (note the creative, hip spelling), a band akin to Menudo, just lacking in the musical talent department, decided to come out of the closet.

I’m glad that the media is there to keep us apprised of every obvious and insignificant development in the lives of washed-up pseudo-celebrities. Next they’ll be telling us that Michael Jackson likes little boys or Barry Bonds takes steroids, or that Scientology is merely a scam committed to bilking idiots out of their money or that water is wet.

I suppose non-news is good news. It’s not like we’re at war, or Iran is developing nuclear weapons, or millions of illegal aliens are flooding our country, or North Korea engineered long-range missiles, or anything like that. Would you like some bread and circuses to go with your smoke and mirrors?

Stay tuned.


Moni said…
Well, the masses need a little escapism in the form a boy bander being outed.

Ha! I knew it! I knew it! Bass is just too damn smiley, I knew he was hiding something. ;P
Valannin said…
Yeah, hiding the salami...

Popular posts from this blog

All empty souls tend toward extreme opinions (W. B. Yeats)

Something occurred to me as I was having a conversation with a friend today, (she’s definitely one of the Outcast by the way), when she mentioned that I wasn’t very “open-minded.” The phrase “open-minded” is perhaps the most aggravating and deceptive American axioms ever invented. Why? Because it’s a trap. The only reason people see others as not “open-minded” is because they are not in agreement about a particular subject. If someone says, “I don’t think the U.S. ever put a man on the moon,” I’d disagree, because there’s tons of evidence to the contrary. But then I’d be met with the dreaded “you need to be more open-minded!” Well, shouldn’t they have the same level of open-mindedness? Of course not. Because in their lexicon, “open-minded” means “believing any old bit of nonsense as long as it goes against tradition.” Cold, hard facts scare these people, so they hide behind the gilded shield of “opinions.”

To be honest, I don’t believe there are any such things as opinions. There are f…

Reason # 1147 To Enroll Your Kids In Private School

Here's a brief story I'd like to relate while it's still fresh in my mind; typically, my articles are 3-4 pages, and quite frankly, it's far too hot to create such a magnum opus tonight. So, I offer you an ultra-condensed version of a disturbing event which took place this past Friday.
Actually, to set the stage, we have to go back to the previous Friday, when the Superintendent of our District happened to be visiting our school. To explain why he was there, I'd have to go over the one-page cap I've set for myself for this article, so suffice it to say that he was trying to do in late May what he should have been doing all year long – namely, his job.
While he is visiting, a student decides it would be a real hoot to throw a glass bottle out of a third-floor classroom window. And since the universe is not without a sense of humor, the bottle travels along a trajectory which terminates at the windshield of a brand-new car parked on the street outside. A car t…