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Showing posts from October, 2006

Valannin's Breviloquent Rhetoric, Take 1

Being over a month since my last post, I felt it would behoove me to write a little something this morning. Partly because I enjoy writing, and partly so the 11 people who read my invective-laced tirades would not think I had finally succumbed to my diet of rare steak, Belgian beer and cigarettes. No, I am very much alive. Corporeally, anyway. My spirit, on the other hand, is another matter. I’d probably be able to better face the soul-crushing disappointments of life if I didn’t have to deal with the gnat-like annoyances that swarm around me on a daily basis. So I’ve decided to write a series of open letters to the people and groups who need to cease and desist all efforts to make my everyday existence as miserable as possible.

Dear Apple Computers: Stop telling me how much better than my PC your little toys are. They’re not. Macintosh are to computers as Hyundais are to automobiles. In fact, by using that smarmy little hipster guy with the wrinkled clothing in your commercials, you a…