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Showing posts from July, 2006

How Dry I Am

It seems as though New York has finally gotten its head out of its phony moral ass. For years it was impossible to buy alcoholic beverages before noon on Sundays, and now, lawmakers in Albany have decided that as of July 30, 2006, that law will be replaced by one authorizing beer sales as early as 8 AM.

Just how did this travesty of justice come about? Well, it was once decided that it was depraved to drink alcohol, read, talk loudly, scratch yourself and other sundry activities on “the Lord’s day.” No, no, not in this moral land! So, starting around the 1600’s in Connecticut, laws were passed to keep people on the straight and narrow path, at least on Sunday mornings. Violators were heavily fined, and sometimes even whipped and beaten. While detractors of the law might cry that the government was “legislating morality,” the truth is, as many truths are, economic in nature. If people were at home or in the bar on Sunday mornings getting soused, that meant that they weren’t in Church ge…

Pander Me Out To The Ball Game

You know, as much of a baseball fan as I am, I’ve never gone to Cooperstown to visit the Baseball Hall of Fame.

And now, I never will.

And why? Because it’s become a sham. Yet another political staging area for concessions, indulgences, and special dispensations. Is there nothing sacred in this fading republic of ours that can weather the storm of politically correct “privileges” once afforded to only the worthy?

In case you’re not a baseball fan (or are just a bloody moron who doesn’t know that such a thing exists), the National Baseball Hall of Fame is a repository and museum for the players, coaches and other assorted personnel that have made either positive or exceptional contributions to the game of baseball.

In order to be considered for the HOF, eligible candidates are required to garner at least 75% of the votes on ballots cast by the Baseball Writers Association of America. The process is a little more complicated than that, and I won’t bother to reproduce it all, but if you c…

I'm Shocked...Shocked!

I came across this while doing some research for a much longer upcoming article, and felt that I had to at least make a passing reference to it. It must be important because it was right there on Google News’ front page. A member of a “boy band” is homosexual? Wow, watch out Woodward and Bernstein – what a scoop!

The entire country (save for those with IQ's larger than the size of their television screens) was floored by the announcement that Lance Bass, a member of the 1990's semi-successful teeny-bopper musical group “N’Sync” (note the creative, hip spelling), a band akin to Menudo, just lacking in the musical talent department, decided to come out of the closet.

I’m glad that the media is there to keep us apprised of every obvious and insignificant development in the lives of washed-up pseudo-celebrities. Next they’ll be telling us that Michael Jackson likes little boys or Barry Bonds takes steroids, or that Scientology is merely a scam committed to bilking idiots out…

My Only Friend, The End

Bless me Father for I have sinned.

It has been 77 days since my last post.

Why? Many reasons. Not in the least of which has anything to do with me not having anything to say. That’s just the problem; I’ve too much.

And quite frankly, I think I’m wasting both my time and bandwidth.

Look, Freud once said that 90% of the people of this world “just don’t get it.” Although I’m sure he said it in German. And I’ve always considered myself one of the blessed 10% who do “get it”. I’ve read countless pieces of literature, traveled to a dozen countries and twice as many American states, I’ve sat on the Great Pyramid and shook hands with the Pope (more like waved from a distance, actually, but close enough) I hold multiple degrees from three separate Universities in English Literature and Education, I studied painting in Venice and archeology in Egypt, I can speak two and a half languages (Spanish is just Italian spoken incorrectly), read in four and curse you to the ends of the earth in six, I can t…