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Showing posts from December, 2005

On The First Day Of Kwanzaa, My True Love Gave To Me, A Bitch-Slap Upside The Head

I apologize in advance for the complete dryness of this update, but some things just need to be said.

Today marks the second day of a holiday called "Kwanzaa", which, ostensibly, is based on some African Harvest ritual and involves lighting candles a la Hanukah (in fact the candle holder looks suspiciously like a Menorah) We have seen in many examples -- BET, Black Miss America, the recent movie version of The Honeymooners -- that Black America is trying its darndest to carve out its own little culture trench by being completely subversive to the rest of the country. And I don't mean blowing up bus stations or any other militant actions, but they certainly aren't making any effort to either assimilate themselves into the society or contribute something more culturally significant than 50 Cent. I’m sorry, but Black music died with Ray Charles.

As far as I can tell, Kwanzaa is one of those holidays that only appeals to blacks who are really down with the whole “back to m…

I Bought Jesus Some New Slippers For His Birthday.

Considering 2.1 billion people in the world identify themselves as Christians -- in America alone there are 151 million Christians, a group comprising 76.5 % of the total U.S. population, -- I'd like to take this time to wish each and every one of you a Merry Christmas.

Forget Hanukkah, Ramadan, Diwali, and that phony-baloney holiday invented by a convicted felon, Kwanzaa.

The population of New York City is larger than the total population of all other religious groups in America combined. When you other guys show up with the sheer numbers then we’ll talk about incorporating you into the culture, but until then, majority rules, at least in the States.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas, and if you don’t like it, go move to Russia.

I Think Hanging Would Be Appropriate

If this were a Livejournal account, and I was a pockmarked teenager who shopped at Hot Topic, I’d call this piece a rant. But because I can hammer together meaningful sentences without resorting to the use of the word “random,” I’ll simply call this an observation:

Are black Americans off their rocker? And I don’t mean that in any xenophobic, white supremacist way, but, really, what the hell is happening to you people out there in Afro-land? Read this article from MSNBC and do a quick scan for the phrase “Disappointment from the NAACP.”

Ok? You didn’t read the entire article, did you? Dying to know what the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is “disappointed” about?

That Gov. Schwarzenegger has denied clemency for Stanley “Tookie” Williams. In case you’ve been out of touch with the world around you for the past 30 years or so, here’s a rundown on the life and times of Stanley Williams.

He's a complicated man, but no one understands him but his woman...Williams …

Here's Your Textbook, Now Get In The Box!

I remember my grammar school days fondly – the rote memorization, the diagramming of sentences, the hours of hours of pointless, mind numbing, spirit crushing mathematics exercises that were forced upon us ever since we were old enough to hold a pencil without jabbing ourselves in the eye – it’s times like that which make a person look back and wonder why more students didn’t strap on an Uzi and go gunning for the assistant principal. In retrospect though the answer was quite simple: we were a generation that respected the authority of the school. If a teacher told us to quit talking, we did, immediately and without question. We didn’t flip her the bird, mutter under our breath, or stand defiantly in her face and tell her to perform a reverse bowel movement with her ruler. One reason for our tacit acceptance of the ruling class in school was the fact that teachers were an extension of our parents – Mom and Dad expected us to succeed academically, and disappointing the teachers was, in…