Skip to main content

Out Of The Ashes

The answer, to those who have been asking, is YES, I am alive. And well. Too well, actually. And when Valannin has nothing to bitch about, Valannin doesn't feel much like writing. In fact, you might go as so far as to say I'm relatively happy. It's true; I haven't had a drop of Scotch in months! Wine, beer, Vodka, Tequila and a little crack, but no Scotch. Partly because I'm all out, but mostly because a lot of the reasons behind the drinking of the scotch have somewhat vanished.

Give it a few months; I'll be back on the sauce. Optimism abounds.

Don't worry, I haven't lost my edge. I still think someone should stuff Al Gore and Michael Moore into a burlap sack, shove them into the back of a Ford Thunderbird and drive it into the Hudson river. Live Earth, what a joke. Millionaire rockstars who took their private jets to the venue and then plugged in 50 or so 100 watt amplifiers to play overprocessed corporate rock under 1100 spotlights are going to tell me to conserve energy? Get fucked.

But I'm calm, see? No fifteen-paragraph rants about it, no vitriolic accusations, and no links to hypocritical articles. Just two little words: "Get Fucked". There is beauty in simplicity.

So where does this sudden inner peace come from? Why the 180 degree turn from alcohol-soaked pedantic missionary for all things rational to this laid-back, huggable soul? No, I didn't find Jesus, discover the meaning of life or become a vegetarian. In fact, if you call me "huggable" to my face, I'll shoot you in the kneecaps and then eat your liver. It's just that in three weeks I'll be making the long trek to the Roof of the World to hobnob with the monks, take 4200 pictures of brightly dressed locals shopping for yak cheese, and buy regionally produced beaded necklaces for 1000% more than they cost to produce.

So, yeah, I'm going to Tibet. Why, you ask? Let me start out by saying that booking trips like this usually involves careful consideration, planning, budgeting, and preparation. In true classic Valannin form, however, Tibet became a reality after a imbibing an entire bottle of Gewurztraminer amid the discovery of a credit card with a fair amount of the limit remaining. (not my credit card, mind you, thank you travelling partner!). That was about three months ago, and in 25 short days, we shall see what hath been wrought.

I'll be sure to keep you all updated on how a pack-a-day smoker is going to survive at an altitude of 20,000 feet, especially in a country that has never heard of Filet Mignon, baseball, or flush toilets.

Oh, and be sure to check out my new MySpace page at:
http://www.myspace.com/pantheonoutcast

There's nothing there at the moment other than a really great song, but I want to be one of those MySpace whores who have like 1100 friends, so shoot me a request or add some comments.

Please, no pictures of your fucking cats.

Namaste!

Comments

Moni said…
'bout damn time you posted. Went to Myspace eh? Traitor! lol just kidding.

Enjoy your trip, find enlightenment and all that jazz.

Tell the Dalai Lama I said, "hello."

Take care. :)
Moni said…
Unrelated to this post but definetly related to your Myspace profile, regarding your Alma Maters. This is freaky my friend, the one I mention in my blog is going for his Masters degree at Lehman. Ha! I just visited the campus(briefly)in January. Small world huh?
Scott said…
Good to see you around, Val. I agree that about the whole hypocrite thing, but the message is spot on.

Popular posts from this blog

Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol - An Amazon Review

Even though I haven't been updating this blog in, oh, two years, I figured I'd sign in and add this review I did for Dan Brown's latest "epic" novel, The Lost Symbol. I've actually read every book by Mr. Brown, simply because I, as a writer, wanted to get a glimpse inside the mind of a man who managed to sell 80 million copies of a book which, quite frankly, wasn't very good. I'm talking about The Da Vinci Code, which, despite being the furthest thing from "literature," was somewhat entertaining. So I downloaded the rest of his catalog and read them over the course of a few days. When I finished, I raised my hands in absolute puzzlement, and exclaimed, "Eh?" Quite simply, Brown is probably the richest, least talented author working today for reasons I cannot fathom. He, much like writer Dean Koontz, director Michael Bay, and rock band Nickelback, has simply released the exact same work over and over again, changing only the ti

Spotlight on: Anonymous Abu Ali Al-Muhammad Ibn Al-Rahman

The intent of starting this series of alcohol-fueled diatribes was to initiate some intellectual discussion, and for the most part, I've received those in the form of one-line comments ("you suck" or "you're a nutjob") or emails suggesting that I perform a reverse bowel movement with my keyboard. However, the one-man-furor over a recent post (resuting in 15 or so anonymous comments) has prompted me to respond with this article, rather than keep expanding the comment thread. If you'd like to read the entire exchange, point your clicky thingy here . In any case, here's my response to Mr. Anonymous (if that is in fact his real name) concerning the "achievements" of the Muslim world in both a modern and historical context: "What I find most interesting, despite your obvious verbosity, and penchant for intelligent discourse, is that you keep refering to these ancient scientists as "Arabic". If we are to use your terms, then yes,

The Tenth Crusade

In case you've been living with your head under the pillows, the past week or so has seen what this humble writer is declaring to be the end of Western Civilization as we know it. Cartoons published five months ago depicting the "prophet" Mohammed wearing a bomb as a turban has incited bloody, destructive riots throughout the civilized world by some very uncivlilzed people. "Islam is peaceful," the protestors claim, "and if you don't believe us, we'll burn down your cities." I'm already having the T-shirts made... Anyone with a keyboard and internet access has already commented on the atrocities of the Muslim world, and I see no reason to beat a dead camel with my own pontifications. Suffice it to say that 175 million people practice the "religion" of Islam, and those 175 million are the direct cause of the slow collapse of the last vestiges of the complex European empire. As birth rates in Europe continue to level out and even f